It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
