Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
