Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
