After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
