kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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