to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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