I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So much Jack, so little girl.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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