You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
