I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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