Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
