apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
