Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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