just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
