You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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