yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
