You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
