New low: just hacked my moms facebook
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can feel your judgement through the phone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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