On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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