Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
