Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
