he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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