just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
