Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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