He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
