i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
