It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
