he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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