C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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