Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
