Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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