when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
