I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
