yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
