"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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