Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
