Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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