I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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