I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
