Jerry, you need to find god
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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