Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
