Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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