Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
