I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
