Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
