did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
