mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
