what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
