If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
