it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
