So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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