Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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