after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
