he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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