I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
