I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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