We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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